My MOM = My HERO

My mom is amazing. Let me just tell you a little of my past to make my point in how much I love and admire my mom.

When I was 14, my dad was struggling with depression and due to that and some other factors, left our family. My sister Janina had just recently married, and my brother Ryan was planning for his mission. I remember that day very vividly. It was horrible.

We had just gotten back from grocery shopping, and my brother Ryan was standing there with some papers in his hands. He was crying, which was pretty much a sight never seen before. He told my mom he needed to talk with her. They went into her bedroom. I remember listening at the door with Rachelle and Eric and hearing my mom start sobbing and saying “No, no…” I cannot imagine the despair that she was feeling. I won’t include all the details–they’re all in my journal anyways, but are much too personal for a blog. It seems when we all talk about it now, we all have something spiritual happen that strengthened us that day even before it happened.

I cannot tell you how hard that time was for all of us. It was a struggle. I was sure we’d have to move away from my friends and great ward. My mom had to start working full time, and somehow she managed to make ends meet. Not somehow–we were just ultra blessed by Heavenly Father. It wasn’t easy for her, I know it wasn’t. I know that I’m clueless to many struggles she had. I know that I don’t fully appreciate the sacrifices she made for us. BUT I will tell you that our family is stronger because of her. Because of the way she handled it all.

She was heart-broken. She would fast 3 days in a row sometimes. I saw her faith in Heavenly Father stronger than in any person I have ever known. She had to deal with her own loss and sorrow, and also had to deal with each of her children’s. She had counseling and took us there as well. She told us she just hated to take us there because we’d just bawl the whole time. So we didn’t go for very long.

With all this, I never heard my mom speak badly of my dad. Most divorces work up to the actual divorce, but this did not. It was a complete surprise to us. I know that looking back there were clues to the way my dad must have been feeling, the pain that depression brings and the hopelessness and unhappiness. My mom talks about what she would have done differently, but really, I could not believe the way she handled it! It was so good for us children, and I believe she knew that if we were to have a good relationship with him, she would keep her thoughts to herself. She still loved him. And I am thankful that she didn’t speak ill of him so that we would as well. In fact, I don’t believe that any of us harbor ill feelings towards him. Of course there are questions and we wonder the ‘why’s’ of it, but thanks to my mom and the gospel, it has made us stronger people, and a stronger family.

So, what did I learn from my mom growing up?

Faith. She has the ultimate unwavering testimony. I love it.

Work. She worked so hard for us. She taught us to work as well. She had us get jobs at 16 until we moved out and save 1/2 our paycheck for college or missions. We had to help out around the house and the yard. But I feel like we respected her and were so close from the above experience, that we just knew she needed help. We also went to the Bishop’s Storehouse for food at some points after the divorce. And we would have to help with the service exchange that they do for the food. That was a great way for us to be thankful for what we were getting, to make us also do something for it.

Forgiveness. Of course you can see how she taught us that. She has also taught us to not take offense. I have never known her to tell us about how so-and-so said this and her taking offense. I remember her telling me to toughen up and not take things so personal.

Fun. Through all the stress in her life, she still laughed a lot with us. She likes to call us smart-A’s (hee hee, kind of makes you laugh thinking about it) if we are being sarcastic or tease her about something. She is just a lot of fun to be around.

Teaches. She doesn’t just force her opinion upon us, well, at least that’s how I feel. Sometimes she does offer motherly advice, but let me tell you this. We lived with her for 7 months after Logan, with our two kids, and she did really well at letting us do our thing and not over-step the boundaries while I’m sure watching us make many mistakes! She did teach me to be more thankful for Dillon with the words, “I don’t have a husband, and I’ve realized that you just need to be thankful for the husband you have!” This last week, I was at her house and was complaining about something, and she said to be careful and not be too picky about it. I was thankful for that reminder. It was a gentle reminder, and full of love when she told me.

Great Grandma! My mom is so great with my kids. They read books, do crafts, go to the park, and she gets right down on the floor and plays with them. She’s all about doing fun things together and using their brains, and I am so thankful for that! My kids always have so much fun there!

Callings. My mom taught me to fulfill my callings. She always did her Visiting Teaching and I was taught to always accept a calling, no matter what. I was taught that through example! She had some majorly time-demanding callings, and she did them, for years! As a single mom working full-time and all the household responsibilities!

Generosity. I am amazed at my mom’s generosity. She has been so amazing at helping us out with our millions of doctor’s bills. She said she couldn’t think of any better thing to do with her money than to help family with it.

Selfless and Considerate. My mom got married almost a year ago. She has had to adjust to many changes, and I know she is always careful about not offending Karl’s children and letting them do things in their own time, their own way, and not pushing changes too quickly on them. She’s handled that situation so well. And of course, we are so thankful that Karl is now a part of her life to love her and take care of her the way she should be.

Frugality. My mom had to be good with money, and she taught us to be as well. I didn’t even own a credit card until after I was married, and I won’t use one now (long story short, she did teach us to be frugal, but there was a short period that I was not, thus my refusal to use a credit card now). We’d go to Food 4 Less and spend less than $200 a month on groceries for all of us. Janina was gone, but she still had 4 of us kids home. Usually it was more like $150.00. She is the queen at living off food storage. We NEVER ate out, we just knew that we didn’t have the money and it wasn’t really sad to us. I remember a family night on finances she gave and we did the math, and it just didn’t add up. There should have been no way we were making it, but the Lord blessed us, and my mom helped us be aware of that. I also remember kind anonymous people helping us out, like leaving an entire Thanksgiving dinner on the doorstep one night. We could see the hand of the Lord in our lives. How could we not?

Love. She loves her family and the gospel so much. She knows what is most important in life.

MOM! I love you. I hope I can end up with some of the great qualities you have. Thank you for all your sacrifices and love for us. You are the best!