I had the chance to visit with Grandpa Brinkerhoff yesterday for a few minutes. It was great! Do you ever realize that you have taken someone in your life for granted and just wanna kick yourself for not taking advantage of the time you could spend with them? That was me as I was chatting with him. For some reason I just always feel too “busy” to go visit people I know I should. Hopefully I’ve realized that it is so important to let those you love know it by showing it the way they want you to! And with my Grandparents, and I think with Dillon’s as well, visiting with them is just about the best thing you can do to show you care!
I took the boys and Bailey over there so my Grandma and Grandpa could see their Halloween costumes–this was after my mom’s fun Halloween party she threw for all her grandkids.
When I got there and my Grandma was still there, they told me how they were around for the first Halloween. They were teenagers and said they had heard that you could go to someone’s house and say “trick-or-treat” and get something. I guess then the normal thing was to go to a show Halloween night, so they did that, and then stopped at someone’s house on the way home. With both my Grandma and Grandpa, an old lady answered, they said “trick-or-treat” and they said, “Oh, well I don’t have anything, but come on in!” My Grandma got hot chocolate, my Grandpa said she just made them something. Then they talked, and went home! One house! That’s it!
After my Grandma left, my Grandpa started talking to Carson about Jesus and how He’s his older brother, and about us wanting to live with our Father in Heaven again. It was sweet.
He told me that he and my Grandma have been talking a lot more about how they will die, now that they are getting older. I asked him what his advice would be, looking back on it all now. He said that he wishes he had been nicer to his kids and spent more time with them. He said even those who DID spend a lot of time with their kids still wish they could have spent more. He also said to enjoy where you live. He said some people (and he told me a story of a lady) are never happy where they live and don’t try hard enough. He said one place they lived, they knew they were only going to be there for a short time, so every other week they made sure to see something neat around the area. He said, looking back, they sure saw a lot of neat things, but they don’t remember the people they got to know and didn’t make friends there.
I love my Grandparents! My Grandma is one of the funniest ladies I know. She’s such a hard worker, even when she isn’t feeling well. She’s always teasing and making people laugh, but she’s also very concerned and caring of all of us. She told me they pray every meal and every prayer they say they pray for Bailey:). They also said they put her name on the temple roll whenever they go. I appreciate their faith and their support of us.
One last thing. With Bailey’s surgery coming up, I’ve decided that a few people have really stood out in the way they speak with us about it. They are concerned, but also grateful for the good doctors. I guess what I get out of with them is that they are positive about it, but they still let me talk about it and be worried, and they even open it up, by saying something like “Aren’t we so blessed to live when we do? But as a parent, you must still be worried and scared about the surgery…” or something like that. That way I can express how I feel without someone fixing the problem or writing off our concerns. My friend Erin has a great quote on her blog–hopefully she won’t mind if I post it here, since it reminded me of my Grandma yesterday:
“When we honestly ask which persons in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving much advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a gentle and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not-knowing, not-curing, not-healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness … makes it clear that whatever happens in the external world, being present to each other is what really matters.” ~Henri Nouwen
Erin says
I love that quote! I’m so glad it could help you a little right now. I miss my Grandma that we lived with for the first six years of our marriage (she died four years ago). How fun to get to spend some time with your grandparents.
Brad, Debbie, and K squared says
I really miss being able to go over and visit Grandma and Grandpa. How fun to have been able to have such a nice chat with them.
Christie, you are always so good at bringing out the positive aspects of life. It helps me want to do the same. :)
Christian and Jennifer says
Dear Christie,
Thanks for the post. I, too, love Grandpa and Grandma so very much. They are incredible people and I wish so much that I had spent more time with them when we lived in Utah. Thanks for echoing my sentiments about them. And thank you for being such a good example for the rest of us. We’re praying for Bailey. We love you.
Kate says
Wow, Christie. I admit that the hour is late (for me), but these tears are real. I’ve been thinking a lot about life lately, my grandma is 90 now and grandpa died 6 months ago and I just really appreciate your thoughts and attitude. Really.